Ep 32 Negative Emotions: Supporting Others Without Making It Worse
In this episode, Cliff and Daphne explore the concept of emotional contagion, emphasizing how we can unconsciously adopt the negative views and emotional struggles of those around us. Drawing on the teachings of the Stoic philosopher Epictetus, they discuss the importance of emotional boundaries and how not to sabotage ourselves and also, how to suppor others, by avoiding absorbing the unproductive attitudes of others. This episode provided a deep dive into the intersection of emotional boundaries, ancient philosophy, and practical wisdom on how to remain emotionally balanced while offering support to others.
Key Takeaways: Cliff and Daphne explain how emotional contagion happens; highlighting that when we immerse ourselves in the negative narratives of others, we can unintentionally adopt their emotional states, leading to self-sabotage. In a writing from Epictetus, they break down the parts of the writing as it pertains to negative emotions with others and how we actually can be a friend to people by not getting on the negative emotions bus with them. They also discuss the importance of differentiating between the misfortune itself and the response someone chooses to adopt.
- Offering Support Without Being Pulled Down: They emphasized that, while it’s essential to show kindness and offer an empathetic ear to those in distress, it's equally important not to get dragged down by their negativity. The message was clear: offering genuine support means maintaining a healthy detachment and employing true listening and curiosity with others when they are struggling all the while seeing them as fully empowered beings who can solve their own issues.
- The Victim, Villain, and Hero: A central theme of the episode was the ‘drama triangle’ – the roles of victim, villain, and hero. The hosts explained how, when someone presents their troubles, there is a temptation to ‘play the hero’ to ease not only the other person’s discomfort but also our own. They emphasized that jumping into this role often results in perpetuating a disempowering narrative.
If you want a good laugh that represents the topic of how we see certain events in life, watch this link: The Shining as a RomCom
The conversation then shifted to how we sabotage ourselves by over-identifying with others' struggles, thereby indulging in negative thinking. The hosts pointed out that we can better serve ourselves and others by remaining detached and refraining from indulging in melodramatic reactions.
- Empowerment Through Detachment:
A key takeaway from the episode was the idea that true kindness lies in believing others are capable of handling their own challenges. By maintaining a sense of detachment and not indulging in negative emotions, we empower others to find their own solutions.
-Conclusion:
The episode wrapped up with a reminder that emotional boundaries are crucial for both ourselves and those we care about. The hosts encouraged listeners to be mindful of how they engage with the troubles of others and to practice empathy without getting swept up in negativity.
If you are a new business owner or a business owner who would like to get even more results, Cliff is available to support you. Email him at [email protected] to get enrolled in his free business course and also to find out about his business mastermind group.
If you've struggled to find direction and keep feeling that you are getting pulled off course, Daphne has also has a great solution for you. You can gain access to her free Values and Purpose course where she walks you through a direct, simple and clear 4 step process to identify your values AND, write your own purpose statement. Email her at [email protected] to get more information and to get enrolled. It is free and yet, absolutely invaluable.