This week we are talking about why your team isn’t listening to you. This comes from one of the most common questions I get asked as a leadership coach “how do I get my team to take responsibility?”However, this is a little different spin because what we are talking about here is that moment when you want to give them “advice” and they aren’t listening. You can listen to eps 16 and 17 for more on the responsibility topic.
Let’s imagine that someone on your team is having an issue and of course, they come to the only person who can solve it, you, their boss. You cannot stop yourself from blurting out all of options to them…that clearly they haven’t thought of already. What we experience here is our own discomfort. We cannot help ourselves in the face of another’s discomfort but to offer them a ton of advice.
We want nothing more than to change the person’s behavior. Now the definition we are talking about is this one: the compulsion to “fix”.This is unconscious of course. Just notice when someone comes to you with an issue, how quickly you offer input about what they can do….without asking them if they want it.
Is advice giving ever beneficial and needed? Yes. But there are considerations. First, what stage is the person at in their process of learning and doing their job? If it’s something they’ve never done before, you may need to direct them. Here, input is mandatory. Or, maybe they’ve only done it once or twice and they sort of know what to do but they aren’t that confident; here, advice can be almost DEADLY! The person may need more emotional support or this can be the time to ask questions. Now, this especially applies to task management; specific things.
But what about those pesky human interactions? Your team member comes to you to complain about another team member, for example. Do we give advice in this situation? Do we tell them what to do?
Listen in this week and tell us what you think.